Suvo Jonmodin :)

Sedin dekhlam tui tor lekha harie jawa kobita khujchis...onedin aage amake akta kobita likhe diechili.. kal tor jonmodin.. eibar jonmodin e tor ei kobitai tor haate tule dilam...


Ei bosonte chokhe jol keno tor?
jani,onek bosonto chhuye gache toke
ronge ronge rongin hoechis barbar
tobu kichu dewa,ar fire na pawa.
Ei kuyasae tor mone jomeche
onek ondhokar...

Amar ghore krishochura aache,
ak aajla papri te tui..
khopa chariye sithi bhore nite paris.
amar ghore polash kuri aache,
anchol theke tule niye nijete mishiye nite paris.

tobe r noy,tor klanto sorire r..
meshabo na rong.
ajiboner bandhobi amar
lokhhiti tui khuje ne amar theke
tor onek khoja,onek chawar
shantijol.

jala dhora tor du chokh aj vijiye ne
ei snigdho jotsnaye...
amar valobashaye...
lokhhiti.



Advanced HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. asha kori valo achis...

Onekdin baade abar eshe porlam sei fele asha rastae.. majhe akta bochor ki vabe kete gelo, arektu,aro onekta burie gelam.
temn specific kichu lekhar nei.. temn kichu vabar nei, temn kichu koraro nei..kichu jodi likhtei hoy....
last kichu mashe.. nijer ojante onek kichute jorie gechi ami.. kichu valo lagar muhurto,onekta jorota, aro onekta koster dewal perie akta rasta dhorechilam..vul kore fellam.. nijer voboghure nature taake kichutei tame korte parlam na..
onner jibon nosto korte ami ostad.!!! hoyto akta sadist pleasure lukie thake amar modhe.. keno korlam.. keno egolam...kon odhikare ato boro khoti korlam karur, oneker.. ami r nijeke sojjo korte parchi na.. palie jete ichha korche..jekhane ami kono vul korini,ami karur dukher karon hoe uthini,ami bondhu haraini, muche dite iccha korche amar vut taake.... je vul atokal koe gechi, sei vul theke sikhte kichui parlam na..r koto manush marbo jani na.. r koto din ei kutsit chehara ta aena e dekhte hobe jani na.. akhni jodi amar kichu akta hoe jeto.. ami r parchi na.. amar sob sesh hoe jak.. but What goes around..comes back around.. kosto amake peye jetei hobe ami jani, ato sohoje nistar nei amar.. I deserve to be slow poisoned.. and am getting dat very well.. But I can't take anymore.. please forgive me for the pain I've caused u,all of u. Please take me in ur arms lord and show me a way..to lead a lyf.. I am sick of living this death every second of my lyf.. release me I beg of u..:(

logical reasoning

Today is going to be just an ordinary day.But in it's remotely ordinary way it is special..It was special..
Now that i have got enough time to ponder over any and everything in the world...I sumtimes sit back and wonder what is it?
No really, what is it dat lay silently underneath my skin..cold and dead..?? and yet in the most unnatural of times it stings me and reminds of his existence..
I wonder whether it really existed..whether it was real..??? or just a figment of my imaginaton...??
But wen my eyes shift towards the dead skin ... I assure myself with the grose, despicable proof of the past..
The Memories play a confusing role...they r like freeezing winter winds...sudden. A chill runs thru my spine...
Ther's absolutely no heartbeat..the heart had stopped beating long ago...
still in some uncanny manner a sudden but soft jerk can be observed at the monitors...
time transcends barrier...
I see a bus stop..and a bus ,, and many buses preceding it.. every day like a routine..
I see the staircase..wher i repeatedly walk past the ghost of the past..
I see you..standing right infront of me...
I am left wondering...y i don't feel anything... absolutely nothing..
U slowly started to move away ..
I called u once.... from behind..just to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
u never looked back....

A page from my Diary

Roj raate jokhn ghumote jai... I try to think of what i did today..maybe kind of relive the moments in my mind.. ajkal ghumote kokhn jai, ghum thekei ba kokhn uthi..sobi hiseber baire chole gache..keu biswas korbe na jani..kintu sotti..i am living but living in a state of Trance..I no longer feel what is happening around me..sometimes I truley wonder whether am still alive..!!
But then the biological clock ticks..and I start to feel the urge to eat, to sleep..but nothing else..It's like am dying a thousand deaths in my mind..but my body is not yet ready to release my soul....

I know it's not the end of the World;
But is it the end of the road for us?
Fear has found a way to my soul
Clutching me with it's Parasitic arms...
I want it to subside
To lie low for a while...

Nightmares keep coming back
The four walls closing in on me
Each one of you vanishing into a cloudy mist
Everytime leaving a Scar on my face

Often the Gory Images wakes me up
Dreams crosses over to Reality
I see 'US' walking away from each other
The Moment is here
I keep holding the Broken pieces of my soul
Hoping some Adhesive will give it a Retouch
A Miracle
That never happens...

All I'm left with is a Realisation...
Nightmares turn into Reality
Dreams doesn't!!

Elixir Of Death

Tornado hit us the last season..
Swept away everything on it's way
Our unguarded fragility,
Unchartered territories went up in flakes;
but left us a souvenier -
The ELIXIR OF DEATH
slow poisoning our mind since then...
My crippled body, ur Devastated mind
lay in silence
No mortal blows, no new reckoning
can break this silence
Our pale eyes could just stare
At the magnanimous celebration!!
Nature's spineless manifestation!!
Beautiful yet Lethal ...

Getting Started..

This blogging thing is new to me but i thought why not give it a try? so here I am.. trying to scribble my thoughts down.
[reminder: people who know me knows me well, and those who doesn't! I am not an interesting character to be known.am just a very very ordinary girl.
Like most people my blogs will have the dominance of my regrets and my pain.. , a reflection of my sadist nature..